Rejected New Yorker Cartoons

Every issue, the New Yorker hosts their Write a Caption contest, where you get to supply the joke to the already-drawn cartoon. I've entered this contest every damn month my entire life, and they have yet to accept any of my witty, cultured, erudite submissions. If you need further proof of an elitist, pinko bias to the nation's oldest arts and literature magazine, I don't know what else I can show you.


Submission: "If I do this long enough, his penis stands up."


Submission: "If I reach over and grab you, your penis will stand up."


Submission: "My hair is standing up because you're so hot. And if you grab it, my penis will stand up too."