Things to do at your girlfriend's high school reunion:

5) Look through old yearbooks for dorky outdated hairstyles and personal quotes.
4) Hunt up old boyfriends. Compare notes.
3) Hit on her old girlfriends. Get turned down in front of her and announce loudly, "Well, she can tell you what you're missing out on. Go ahead, babe, tell her."
2) Demand to see official high school transcripts of everyone present. Lament the lack of education present in such a drunken group of reprobates.
1) Ask everyone you see: "So really, no fooling, how dumb is the average graduate of your class?"

I didn't think of any of this until too late, but maybe Kim can use it at my reunion next year. The whole thing was a ripoff, honestly enough--$50 a head at the Pheasant Run didn't even buy us an open bar, much less anything palatable to eat. A giant hors d'ouveres table, oh my! What, was White Hen's deli all sold out?