Film Notes Assignment for "Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic"

Directions: Note observations, critical and stupid, while watching the movie and write a summative evaluation at the end.

• Dante seems pretty buff for a would-be medieval pilgrim. I didn't know clerics had such broad shoulders, armor and deadly swords.
• Okay, scratch the last comment: Dante is a Crusader? This is critical of the church? There's so many paradoxes here, I think my head is imploding.
• "Hey, Dante? When you run up to a woman whose stomach is spread out about her on the ground, the last stupid question she needs to hear is 'Are you all right?'"
• Did medieval couples always get naked and rub against each other before swearing chastity?
• "Hey, Dante? Saying 'I don't like the look of this' before entering Hell is a pretty stupid comment."
• Okay, unbaptized babies were in the original poem. But an army of scrimitar-wielding demon babies? I'm never going near a nursery again.
• So the second circle is filled with horny lesbians? Then what's a Heaven for?
• I'm beginning to sense a pattern in this movie. Is it...we're all sinners?
• The seventh level looks pretty much like a parking lot. I think Dante was on to something. It really sucks when you have to drive around and around looking for a spot, you know?
• In every level, Dante and Virgil have different hairstyles. So when I go to Supercuts...am I sinning?
• Nerissa is pretty hot. Even if she has a tail.
• Wait a minute...Mark Hamill did Dante's voice? He can't be that hard up for work.
• Okay, I think I've got the theme figured out...we're all going to Hell? Party on my rock, then.
• If the real Dante saw this movie, he'd probably come up with a new circle for video game movie directors.

OVERALL SUMMARY: Vivid action scenes, zooms and extreme closeups of people getting their heads chopped off, women raped, men butchering and overall mayhem does wonders for preaching a message of compassion and Catholic faith. I felt myself getting brainwashed every minute this thing dragged its nuts. It just needs a good soundtrack.