Harold Bloom bashes Stephen King, from Neil Gaiman's website. Fodder for thought. (You have to register to read it, but it's free)

One night at layout...

Student: Mr. L, you sound just like my dad.
Me: How's that?
Student: He and I were looking at college application materials, and I was trying to be cute, telling him he really didn't want me to leave the house and everything. And he said he wanted to be proud of me, only he'd be proud of me more if I were in another state.
Me: Ah. A sage, witty man.
Student: You do that too. You say the meanest things with a completely straight face. Like "Oh, Lisa is such a good student, as long as she's not in the room yakking on her cell phone to her stupid boyfriend and using the word "like" all the time, like the idiot she really is.
Me: Hey, I never said you were a good student.

(I was told to blog about that comment. Just following orders.)

Did you know the Lake Street Cafe sometimes runs out of beer and doesn't bother to stock it again? Neither did I. Fucking hell.

I suppose I should be flattered, but I had three parents tonight mention how young I looked. I'd like to believe it was because they feel I'm aging gracefully, but somehow, the subtle frown and dubious glance at my badly-knotted tie and mimeographed handout threw them for a loop:

Parent:So you're in charge of this class? You look awfully young.
Me: I know. It's all that clean living. It's a killer.
Parent: No, really, you look like you ought to be crying for your mamma and pissing in your didies.
Me: Listen, pal, what I do on my own time is my own business.

Best one-liner of the day

Annoying colleague: You know what your problem is?
Me: I only have one?

So I ripped it off Ocean's Eleven.